A Clean Slate (Kansas Crossroads Book 4) Read online

  He glanced over at Miss Markham, wondering how she fared after her heroic act. Her cheeks were a little flushed, but she looked well, and he was grateful for that. She had truly saved his life, and quite possibly, the lives of others in the congregation.

  “Sometimes—in fact, often—the love of God is shown to us as He works through someone else on our behalf. The kind word from a neighbor, the helping hand from a friend, a note of encouragement from a mentor—these things can all be evidence of a loving God who desires us to know that He cares for us. Acts of kindness are often inspired by Him. Have you ever felt a sudden desire to visit a friend, and when you arrive, you discover that they are ill and in need of cheer? You have acted as an instrument in God’s hand. You have helped your friend as God would if He were here to do it Himself.

  “Brothers and sisters, I can’t pretend to have all the answers. I can’t stand before you and claim to be the authority on everything that passes through the mind of God. What I do know, however, I know without a doubt, and that is this—God loves us. He loves you, He loves me, He loves your neighbor. His capacity to love is infinite, and because of that, we can trust that His desires for us are always for our good. Let us now close with a hymn.”

  Robert lowered himself into his chair as the music started, his knees about ready to fail him. As before, Miss Markham’s voice rose above the others, soothing his soul. He would go over to the hotel that very evening and speak with her, thank her for saving him twice that day.

  Chapter Two

  “I honestly can’t believe you did that,” Rachel said as they drove back to the hotel after church. “That was one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen.”

  Olivia shrugged. “It was probably more stupid than brave. It just made me so angry to see that man threatening everyone, especially the pastor, and most especially in a church. I’m not a very religious person, but even I know that you should show respect during services.”

  Mr. Brody laughed from the front bench of the wagon. “Right you are, Olivia. If you’re going to threaten someone, wait until after church.”

  Even though she knew he was teasing, Olivia’s face burned. “That’s not what I meant,” she protested. “Of course you should never threaten someone. It’s just even worse in a church.”

  Mr. Brody laughed again, and Olivia was reminded that he always had found her amusing, clear back when they lived in the same community in New York. Perhaps that’s why she’d never been able to catch his attention—he didn’t consider her serious. Well, that was water under the bridge, as they say. She lifted her chin a little higher. It was his loss, after all.

  “My nephew enjoys teasing, as I’m sure you well remember,” Miss Hampton said wryly. “I, for one, am very grateful for what you did, and I don’t think you deserve to be mocked for it.” She cast a disapproving glare at the back of Mr. Brody’s head, which, of course, he could not see.

  As soon as they arrived at the hotel, all the women scurried to change into their dark dresses and white aprons, as the train would be arriving soon. Olivia put her pink dress away with some regret. She enjoyed color—lots and lots of color—and day in and day out of black or brown didn’t suit her at all. Nevertheless, it was the uniform at the Brody, so she complied. It wasn’t without complaint, but she complied.

  That evening, after all the plates had been washed and the kitchen was cleaned up for the night, Olivia was sitting in the parlor with the other girls when Pastor Osbourne stuck his head through the door. “I beg your pardon,” he said. “I knocked, but didn’t get an answer. I hope it’s all right that I just dropped by like this.”

  Elizabeth came to her feet, Rose sleeping snugly in her arms. “Of course, Pastor. We have an open-door policy here at the hotel—you may just walk right in. Won’t you have a seat?”

  He took the empty chair next to Olivia and set his hat on his knee. “Miss Markham, I didn’t get a chance to speak with you after morning services to thank you for your act of bravery. I’ve never seen anyone use a bonnet to such an unusual advantage before.”

  Olivia felt heat rise to her cheeks yet again. “I didn’t notice any other guns in the church, so I thought I’d best be creative.”

  A twinkle entered the pastor’s eye. “And if there had been a gun, would you have used it?”

  “Only if necessary. Hopefully, the man carrying it would have done so for himself.”

  Pastor Osbourne threw his head back and laughed. “I’m very glad you’ve joined our congregation, Miss Markham. Very glad indeed.”

  “If you don’t mind my asking, Pastor, what happened to the man from this morning?” Abigail asked.

  “The marshal showed up a few minutes after services let out and took him away. He mentioned that he’d need to speak with you, Miss Markham.” The pastor shifted his attention back to Olivia. “I explained that you’re quite busy here at the hotel, so he said he’d come by tomorrow toward the end of your midday meal.”

  “That’s all right, but I don’t know why he’d want to speak with me,” Olivia said, uncharacteristically flustered. Surely she hadn’t done anything so very out of the ordinary. There was a problem to be solved, and she solved it. It was quite simple.

  “He needs to hear your side of the story before he can move forward with the charges. It’s just a formality, really.”

  Olivia nodded. “I’ll do my best to answer his questions.”

  The pastor gave her a quick smile and then turned to the other girls, asking polite questions about their backgrounds and what brought them to Topeka. They were each here because of some sort of tragedy in their lives, yet the conversation remained upbeat. Olivia took advantage of the moment to study the pastor. She supposed he was rather young to carry the responsibilities of a church—he couldn’t be more than twenty-five, and she’d always thought that a preacher had to be much older or he wouldn’t have enough experience to lead a congregation. From what she’d seen that morning, however, he could hold himself with dignity and offer a very nice sermon even after being faced with such a surprising challenge.

  Then he turned back to her, and she tried to pretend that she’d been paying attention to the conversation all along. “I don’t mean to put you in an awkward position, Miss Markham, but I couldn’t help but notice something else unusual about you today.”

  Olivia held up a hand. “If you’re concerned about my clothing, Pastor, I apologize. I’m used to the fashions of New York. I promise, I’ll try to be more moderate.”

  He blinked a few times. “Actually, I didn’t notice your choice of clothing at all.”

  Well, that was certainly new. Olivia had never met a man who didn’t enjoy seeing a pretty woman in a pretty dress. Of course, he was a pastor, so she couldn’t expect him to behave like a normal man. He probably wasn’t allowed to do anything in his free time but read the Bible and recite the lineage of all the ancient prophets.

  “What I noticed was your lovely singing voice,” he continued.

  Olivia sat up a little straighter. That’s not at all what she was expecting him to say. “I took lessons for a few years,” she said, casting around for a reply. “I’m not sure why that would put me in an awkward position, though.”

  “Oh, I haven’t mentioned the awkward part yet.” He smiled, and she couldn’t help but notice that it was a very nice smile. In fact, he was admittedly good-looking, for a pastor. She’d known many men who were by far more handsome, but they had also been scoundrels. “I’d like to ask you to join the choir.”

  “What?” Olivia’s hand flew to her throat in a gesture she’d mastered years ago and now did without thinking. “The choir? Pastor, I must be honest with you. I only came to church today because Mr. Brody suggested it. I wasn’t planning to become involved in any way—I rather hoped I could sit quietly, unnoticed, and slip out when it was all over.”

  Rachel laughed, then clapped her hand over her mouth. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “But if you were trying to stay unnoticed, you certainly went about
it the wrong way.”

  Olivia ignored her. “I’m sorry, Pastor Osbourne, but I must say no. It was very kind of you to offer, though.”

  “It wasn’t a kind offer—not at all. You have no idea what a blessing you’d be to us—well, you heard the choir sing. I’m sure you do have an idea of our shortcomings.”

  Olivia raised an eyebrow. “I did notice a certain lack of . . . musicality.”

  “Our choir does its very best, but they’re all volunteers, you understand. Not a trained singer in the bunch. Our choir director, Mrs. Clasby, is the most patient woman on earth, and I do thank the Lord that she’s taken on this responsibility, but there’s just nothing to be done most Sundays but appreciate the enthusiasm.”

  “They are certainly enthusiastic.” Olivia was secretly amused at how the pastor was trying so hard to convey the difficulties of the situation without actually saying anything unkind. That would be a terrible burden for her—she enjoyed speaking her mind and did so often, something that her fellow waitresses were constantly reprimanding her for. It wasn’t something a good waitress was supposed to do, or some twaddle like that.

  “If you could see your way clear to joining, even for just a few months, it certainly would make a difference in our church services,” Pastor Osborne went on. He looked so sincere, he reminded Olivia of a little kitten left out in the rain, but she didn’t feel sorry enough for him to change her mind.

  “I am sorry, but I’m afraid my answer will have to remain no.”

  “Ah, well. I had to ask.” He smiled at her again, and it seemed genuine, even though she could tell he was disappointed. He stayed another few minutes and visited with them all, and then he excused himself and pulled the door closed behind him.

  “I like him,” Rachel pronounced. “He’s not a bit like the preacher at my parents’ church. That man was so stern, I never even dared uncross my arms during services for fear he’d think I was being irreverent.”

  “He is rather likeable,” Elizabeth agreed. “I haven’t been to church regularly since before I was married the first time, but I think I’d like to start attending again every week.”

  Olivia tried not to react to Elizabeth’s casual mention of her first marriage. Yes, Elizabeth had been widowed, and her circumstances were clearly not her fault, but Olivia hadn’t yet reconciled herself to the fact that Elizabeth had come in with her winning ways and baby girl and stolen Adam right out from under her. If a woman had already been married, shouldn’t she step back and leave the rest of the men alone? She’d had her turn, hadn’t she? But that’s certainly not how Adam saw it—he had even given the baby his last name, and they were so cozy together, it made Olivia ill.

  “I’ll say good night now,” Elizabeth said. “Rose needs her bed, and I confess, so do I.”

  Everyone murmured their goodnights as Elizabeth made her way to the new family quarters that had just been completed out back of the hotel office. It was a needed addition—no room in the hotel could accommodate Adam’s growing family.

  Olivia tried to summon up some sort of regret as she climbed the stairs to her attic room to get ready for bed, but in fact, she didn’t feel sorry at all. She was just glad the pastor hadn’t asked for more of an explanation. She wasn’t at all prepared to give one.

  ***

  Robert knocked on the front door of Dr. Phillip Wayment’s house and was surprised when Phillip himself answered the door.

  “No Mrs. Hadley tonight?” he asked as he entered his friend’s office.

  “I gave her the day off. It’s her sister’s birthday, and they wanted to spend it together eating dainty sandwiches or something,” Phillip said, motioning for Robert to sit. “You haven’t been by for a while. I hope this is a social call and that you’re not feeling ill.”

  “Perhaps it’s a little bit of both,” Robert said.

  “I heard what happened this morning at church.” Phillip eyed him curiously. “Have you experienced any traumatic aftereffects from that?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” Robert replied.

  “Are you more jumpy than usual, for instance?”

  “Not that I’ve noticed. But then, I’ve been fairly busy today.”

  “True, true, being Sunday and all. Be sure to let me know if you have any difficulty sleeping tonight, would you?”

  “All right.” Robert fingered the brim on his hat. “I’ve come to ask you about Mrs. Cannell.”

  “Ah, yes. Mrs. Cannell.” Phillip leaned back in his desk chair and laced his fingers across his stomach. “She is a great mystery. She has an illness that none of us can diagnose, and so none of us can effectively treat it. She’s in a great deal of pain that our strongest medications can’t touch, so she’s stopped taking them because she dislikes feeling groggy all the time. I’ve consulted with the other doctors, and not one of us has a treatment plan to recommend. I’ve never been so baffled.”

  “Do you think Mr. Cannell is right, then, that God has abandoned her?” Robert was curious as to his friend’s thoughts. Phillip wasn’t very religious, as was evidenced by the fact that he hadn’t been in church that morning, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was situations like this that kept Phillip away from services.

  “I actually think it’s quite the opposite,” Phillip said after a moment of silence.

  “How so?”

  “I used to wonder about this—in fact, I spent many long hours wrestling with this question,” Phillip began, leaning forward and resting his arms on the desk in front of him. “But then I realized something. You see, my questions had led me to do research, and the research led me to experiment, and my experiments led me to hit upon a solution. And now, should I ever encounter a case like that again, I’ll know what to do. This is how medicine advances, Robert—it advances because of questions we can’t answer. Cases like this allow us to learn. As far as Mrs. Cannell goes, I’ll continue to stop by. I’ll continue to collect data and to read up on similar cases. And perhaps that will lead me to an answer. It’s the ‘perhaps,’ the possibility, that makes all this work. And that is why I don’t question God about it anymore.”

  Robert tilted his head to the side, encouraging Phillip to continue.

  “You see, God has given us all the clues we need in a complex mystery, and we just need to figure it out. Along the way, we learn, and we become better people and better physicians. It’s quite a marvelous system, really.”

  Robert couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re starting to sound like a believer! Does this mean I’ll see you in church next week?”

  Phillip chuckled. “I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment, but I’ll think about it. I do wish I’d been there this morning, though. I’ve heard so many accounts of it, I can’t determine what actually happened.”

  Robert filled him in, concluding with, “Miss Markham doesn’t seem to think she did anything that astonishing.”

  “I wouldn’t have thought that one to be particularly humble. I have been wrong about people before, however.” Phillip shook his head. “A bonnet, of all things.”

  “Tell me what you know of Miss Markham,” Robert requested.

  Phillip looked at him curiously. “Is this from a purely religious standpoint, or are you thinking of going courting? If your intentions are romantic, you might have a hard time.”

  Robert felt his ears grow red. “No, nothing romantic at all. I asked her to join the choir, and she turned me down. I wondered if you’d have any insight, that’s all.”

  “Ah, I see.” Phillip didn’t look like he believed Robert for a minute, but that wasn’t important. “She’s a different sort, that’s for sure. I haven’t spent a lot of time with her, but Jeanette mentioned her from time to time—never unkindly, but more in a baffled way.”

  “How is Jeanette doing?” Robert asked. “Have you heard from her yet?”

  A smile touched Phillip’s lips. “I did receive her first letter—she mailed it from a train station midway between here and New York. She h
adn’t even arrived yet and she was writing me.” He tried to sound embarrassed, but the look on his face was anything but—he was utterly and completely besotted, and it had delighted him to hear from his fiancée so soon.

  “She’s doing well then, as far as you know.”

  “She said the deputy marshal wasn’t a very talkative traveling companion, but she was enjoying the trip so far.” Phillip blinked and brought himself back to the conversation. “But you were asking about Miss Markham. I’m sorry—I got distracted.”

  “Understandable. A lovely young woman can be very distracting.” Robert couldn’t be happier for Phillip—he’d watched the doctor fill his lonely hours with work and more work, and he was comforted to know that now, his friend would have love and a family.

  “Yes, and Jeanette is particularly. But we’re talking about Miss Markham. She’s the daughter of a doctor—one who appears to stay with the old ways and doesn’t do much in the way of research or additional study. At least, that’s the impression I got from some of the comments she made while I was treating Tom White. She states her opinions freely, without seeming to evaluate their possible impact. Jeanette commented that at least she always knew where she stood with Olivia.”

  “That’s not a bad thing,” Robert commented.

  “I agree. I’d rather deal with the truth than be pandered to with politeness. Apparently, it has led to some altercations in the hotel dining room. One shouldn’t ask Miss Markham for more coffee unless she’s in the mood to pour it, from what I hear.”