The Bitter and the Sweet (Kansas Crossroads Book 9) Read online

  The Bitter and the Sweet

  Kansas Crossroads #9

  by Amelia C. Adams

  With special thanks to my beta readers—Cissie, Erin, Jennifer, Mary,

  Nancy, and Tracy. As always, you keep me on target.

  Additional thanks to my street team for their unfailing enthusiasm.

  *

  Dedicated to all those who have faced the bitter in their lives so they might

  taste the sweet.

  Table of Contents:

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Special Bonus Chapter

  Chapter One

  Denver, Colorado

  1874

  Sarah Palmer smoothed down the front of her white muslin gown and moistened her lips as she studied herself in the full-length mirror. She hardly recognized the girl staring back at her. She wondered if it was too late, if there was some way to make her excuses and go to bed early instead.

  Her cousin Felicity came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. “You look beautiful, Sarah.”

  “The dress is beautiful, yes. Thank you so much—it must have cost a fortune.”

  Felicity waved that off. “You’re not to give it another thought. Now go and have a wonderful time.”

  Sarah winced. “Do I have to? Why don’t you and John go out for the evening, and I’ll sit with the children.”

  Felicity laughed. “My dear, you’ve been invited to the Howard mansion as a special guest. Would you really rather stay at home with my rambunctious boys?”

  “They aren’t so rambunctious when they’re asleep, which they would be most of the time.” Of course she’d rather sit with her little cousins than face a room filled with strangers. The choice seemed rather obvious.

  Felicity laughed again. “I’m sorry to say, you’re out of luck. John says he wants a quiet night in, and I’m inclined to agree with him.”

  “And so do I! We could all stay home together.” Sarah wiped her palms down her skirt again. Her hands were so clammy.

  “Why don’t you want to go, Sarah? Is something wrong?”

  Sarah turned and sat on the edge of her bed, careful not to wrinkle her skirts too badly. “I don’t know. I’m flattered that Gilbert has taken so much interest in me this summer, and of course I want to see his parents’ mansion, but I’m not fit for high society. I feel awkward when the ladies start talking about the latest fashions from Paris, and I’d much rather hide in a corner with a book.”

  “Do you care for Gilbert?” Felicity asked, sitting next to Sarah on the bed.

  Sarah considered that question. She hadn’t given it much thought until now. “He’s definitely handsome, and he’s dashing and humorous and everything I’ve always thought I wanted. I could probably come to care for him very much.”

  Felicity tilted her head. “But you don’t right now?”

  “I don’t think we know each other well enough to be making those kinds of decisions.” Sarah toyed with the sash on her dress. “How long have I been visiting you here—two months? Is two months really long enough to know how you feel about someone?”

  Felicity patted Sarah’s arm. “Some people know instantly. I suppose it all depends on who they are. I won’t push you—I know this is your way, to be thoughtful about your decisions. But when he first laid eyes on you at church that day, I thought for sure it would be a match. He seemed positively mesmerized by you.”

  Sarah’s cheeks heated. “I don’t know about that.”

  “I do, because I saw the whole thing. Now, listen. Your carriage will be here any moment. Go and have fun. Explore the mansion, dance every dance, and prepare to report to me on what was served and what everyone wore. And, of course, if Gilbert takes you out into the rose garden for a stroll, that wouldn’t be a terrible thing, would it?”

  Sarah smiled. “No, I don’t suppose it would.”

  “There now. It’s all decided.” Felicity stood up and nodded. “I think I hear the carriage outside now. Don’t forget your fan and gloves.”

  Sarah gathered up her things and followed her cousin down the stairs. A moment later, seated in the carriage, she was whisked off toward the Howard mansion, feeling like a very reluctant Cinderella.

  ***

  When she arrived at the mansion, Sarah was helped out of the carriage by the footman, and then she made her way up the broad white stairs leading to the front doors. Gilbert met her on the top step, his dark suit contrasting with his light hair and eyes.

  “You look lovely, Miss Palmer,” he said, taking her in from head to toe.

  “Thank you, Mr. Howard. My cousin had quite a bit of fun dressing me up.”

  He moved forward and offered her his arm. “The orchestra started with some rather boring selections, but they’ve gotten better over the last fifteen minutes or so. We should take advantage of it and dance.”

  Just as Sarah had feared, as soon as she entered the ballroom with Gilbert, all eyes were on her. Most of them were approving, but there were those few who seemed suspicious and even jealous. She’d never sought out his attention—he’d been the one doing all the seeking. If some of the girls in the room were jealous, well, she supposed Gilbert was to blame, not her.

  They danced twice, and then she begged to sit down. All the twirling was making her dizzy. Gilbert seated her in a chair, fetched her a glass of punch, and then excused himself to go dance with his mother. “She insists on it, and it will be easier to do it now rather than later, when the floor is congested with dancers.”

  “I’m more than all right sitting here,” Sarah reassured him. “I like watching other people at parties.”

  “All right, then. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

  Once he was gone, Sarah took a deep breath and relaxed. This really was a beautiful mansion—she’d never been inside a private home that had its own ballroom. The floor was made of inlaid wood, the chandeliers simply dripped with crystal, and flowers were everywhere. And the people—everyone was dressed so elegantly. She would have a lot to tell Felicity when she got back to her cousin’s house.

  “Are you bored yet?”

  Sarah blinked and turned to meet the gaze of Gilbert’s older brother, Stephen. He wore an amused look on his face, as if the whole thing entertained him. She’d met him a few times before and thought he was probably one of the nicest society gentleman she’d met, probably because he was nothing like the others. He seemed the type to be just as comfortable out in the stables as in here, dancing with women who sparkled like the chandeliers.

  “I’m not bored, Mr. Howard. I’m just resting.”

  He took the seat next to hers. “Well, I’m bored. Quite bored, actually. If one more person tells me how ‘simply divine’ they find this party, or brag about their latest hunting trophy, or ask me if I’ve met their daughter, I think I’ll turn tail and run. May I hide out here with you?”

  “Of course.” She nodded out toward the dance floor. “You aren’t interested in meeting everyone’s daughters?”

  He grimaced. “I don’t mind meeting them under ordinary circumstances, but
events like this are rather like a parade. And my parents are concerned about my welfare. Apparently, I’ve done something horrible by not inviting a young lady here tonight. They’ve decided I’ll never get married and will end up a grumpy old bachelor toasting cheese over the fire in my slippers.”

  “Oh, I do hope you don’t have a fire in your slippers. That would be dreadful,” Sarah teased.

  He grinned. “You know what I mean. At any rate, my mother’s displeased with me right now. She said something about me not doing my duty by the family. It’s a disgrace that the older son isn’t married when the younger is . . . well, I understand congratulations are in order.”

  Sarah raised an eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t bring it up before the announcement has been made, but I overheard my parents talking about it this morning. I think Gilbert has chosen very well.”

  Just then, an older woman bustled up, a girl of probably eighteen right behind her. “Oh, do forgive me for interrupting. Mr. Howard, it’s good to see you again.”

  Stephen came to his feet. “And you too, Mrs. Forbes.”

  “I wonder if you’ve ever had the opportunity to meet my daughter.” She turned and motioned to the girl, who dropped a slight curtsy. “This is Charlotte. She’s been traveling in Europe with my sister for the last month, and just arrived home yesterday. I told her I thought you’d be delighted to partner her for her first dance back on American soil.”

  Stephen cast a desperate glance at Sarah, then bowed. “I would be very delighted, Miss Forbes.” He took her arm and escorted her toward the dance floor just as the music came to an end and everyone scrambled to find their partners for the next.

  Sarah felt sorry for Stephen, but she couldn’t think past what he’d just said. Congratulations? For what? It sounded like he thought she and Gilbert were engaged, but Gilbert hadn’t said anything to her about it, and shouldn’t she be the first to know?

  She watched him escort his mother back to her seat. How would she like to be engaged to him? He was certainly handsome, and he made her laugh. Yes, she could grow to love him, like she’d told Felicity. She didn’t know if she would like living in the spotlight, though—the Howards were one of Denver’s most prominent families, and their doings were always written up in the society column of the newspaper. That didn’t suit Sarah at all.

  A moment later, Gilbert reappeared at her elbow, a fresh cup of punch in his hand. “I’m sorry to leave you, but I noticed that Stephen kept you company.”

  “He did. Then he got snatched up by Miss Forbes.”

  Gilbert glanced over to the dance floor. “Ah, yes. Miss Forbes. She’d be a good match for him.” He handed Sarah the punch and took her empty cup.

  “I don’t know why two people can’t dance together without everyone else trying to match them up. Can’t they just enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes?”

  “But then what would the gossipers gossip about?” He gave her a wide smile. “May I get you a plate?”

  “Yes, please. I’d like that.”

  Sarah amused herself by studying the older Mrs. Howard while Gilbert was gone. Mrs. Victoria Howard was Gilbert’s grandmother, and she ruled over the family with the same sort of grip as the queen who shared her name. That night, she wore a dress of emerald green and a matching necklace. She sat in an overly large chair on the other side of the room, looking over all the dancers with a pair of opera glasses. That seemed rather intrusive, but that was simply her way—if she was curious, she would satisfy that curiosity even if it was uncomfortable for other people. Sarah had been the object of that scrutiny more than once.

  “Here you are,” Gilbert said, walking up to her with a plate of refreshments. “After you’ve eaten, my grandmother has requested to see you.”

  Here she’d just been thinking about his grandmother, and now she’d have to go greet her. She put on a smile. “Of course.” However, with that unpleasant task to look forward to, she couldn’t eat much, and within a few minutes, they were crossing the floor.

  “Grandmother, you remember Miss Palmer, don’t you?”

  Mrs. Howard nodded. “I do indeed. How are you this evening, Miss Palmer?”

  “Quite well, ma’am. I hope you are as well.”

  “I’m not certain that I am. It seems rather stuffy in here, and the music is too loud for my taste. I much prefer the soothing tones of a pianoforte in the drawing room, not this nonsense.” She flapped a hand in the direction of the orchestra. “However, it’s not my party, and so it’s not my place to say. I tried and tried to tell Millicent to organize things differently, but she would have none of it.” She learned forward to speak confidentially. “A daughter-in-law is much different from a daughter, Miss Palmer. They pretend to heed your wishes, and then do whatever they want behind your back.”

  Sarah nodded as though receiving great wisdom, all the while feeling sorry for Gilbert’s mother. Not that Millicent had ever been kind to Sarah—she had kept her at arm’s length whenever they’d been at the same event all summer.

  A moment later, George Howard stood up at the front of the room, and everyone quieted down to hear what their host had to say.

  “Thank you all for coming tonight,” he said, projecting his voice to be heard throughout the room. “It’s a very momentous occasion for our family, and we’re delighted to share our joy with you. Gilbert, Miss Palmer, will you join me, please?”

  Sarah’s heart nearly stopped beating in her chest. She glanced over at Gilbert, who blinked rapidly.

  “Come now, you two. Don’t be shy.” Mr. Howard chuckled.

  Gilbert took Sarah’s elbow, and they worked their way to the front. When they reached Gilbert’s father, he whispered, “What’s going on? Why did you call us up here?”

  “What do you mean, son? I’m announcing your engagement to Miss Palmer, of course.”

  Sarah gripped the handle of her fan tighter. She was right—that’s what Stephen had been talking about. But how was this happening? Not one word had been said to her.

  “Father, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Yes, I’ve spent some time in Miss Palmer’s company, but surely you recognize the signs of a summer dalliance. I’m not going to marry her—she’s an orphan being raised by her aunt. She’s a nobody.”

  Gilbert probably meant to speak quietly, but his voice carried, and several ladies in the room gasped. Sarah couldn’t draw a deep breath. How could he . . . in front of everyone . . . She closed her eyes and tried to remain calm.

  “I must say, Gilbert, I’m quite relieved,” Mrs. Howard said, and Sarah’s eyes flew open. “I had hoped for so much more for you.”

  Mr. Howard give a nervous laugh. “Ladies and gentlemen, as it turns out, I was misinformed and have no announcement to make after all. Please help yourself to the refreshment table.”

  Gilbert turned to Sarah, his eyes full of humor. “I’m sorry about that. Rather embarrassing, isn’t it? We’re just friends—I have no idea why he thought we were engaged.”

  “Neither do I.” Sarah found her voice. “I can’t imagine why he’d think I’d be prevailed upon to marry you.” She picked up her skirts and turned, making her way back across the room. Once she reached the hallway, she broke into a run. She had to get out of there right that minute. She didn’t wait for his reaction—the startled look on his face was satisfying enough. She needed air. And she needed to escape all the eyes—the sympathetic gazes, the triumphant stares. She had to get away from it all.

  “Miss Palmer! Wait!”

  At first, she thought it was Gilbert, and she ran all the harder. She didn’t care if it wasn’t dignified. But when he called out again, she recognized the voice, and she stopped.

  Stephen drew up alongside her, panting for breath. “You’re rather fast,” he said, leaning over and putting his hands on his knees. “Were you going to run all the way home?”

  “I was considering it. It’s only a mile or so.” Sarah looked out towa
rd the road. She’d almost made it before she was stopped.

  “Let me drive you.”

  “No. It would take you forever to hitch up a buggy, and I just want to leave.”

  “I don’t have to hitch up a buggy. We’ll use one of these.” He nodded toward the several carriages that waited in the courtyard. “No one will notice—I’ll have it back before they’re even done eating their refreshments.”

  That would be borrowing without asking at the best and stealing at the worst, but Sarah didn’t care. She nodded, and Stephen helped her into the nearest one. Then he climbed up as well, and they were off down the road. She ignored the shouts from the driver as he emerged from wherever he’d been hiding and chased after them.

  “Miss Palmer, I’m horribly sorry about what happened back there,” he said after a long moment. “I really can’t explain it. I thought it was all understood.”

  “Your brother never asked me to marry him, so really, it’s not as terrible as it must have looked.” Sarah tried to laugh, but it didn’t come out that way. “He’s not obligated to me at all.”

  “But in front of everyone . . .” Stephen shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yes, that part was rather unfortunate. But when one is an orphan, one must expect things like that to happen.”

  “Curse it, Miss Palmer, it’s not your fault you’re an orphan, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of anyway.” He gave the reins a shake, even though they were already going fast enough. “My brother has plenty to be ashamed of, though. I could throttle him.”

  “You don’t have to. I’d much rather forget the whole thing ever happened.” She had to admit, though, that she wouldn’t mind if Gilbert were to be throttled. Maybe a black eye. A bruised rib. It wasn’t a kind thought, but she had it nonetheless.

  “You’re much more forgiving than I would be. Is this the right house?”

  Sarah looked out of the carriage. “That’s right. Thank you for bringing me, Mr. Howard. Goodnight.” She didn’t wait for him to help her down, but ran inside as quickly as she could. She just wanted away. She could see by the light down the hall that Felicity was up waiting for her report of the party, but she just couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. Instead, she went to her room and closed the door, hating white muslin party dresses and fancy shoes and everything that went with them.